Category: Parent Talk
Has any one had a adoption for the child that they created in this world if so please let me know what the process is inordor to do that?
Please email me at babybuffalovanessuevega@gmail.com.
i have changed my mind about where the baby is gone go.
It will go with a stranger.
I do not want to go to carts or anything like that.
I do not want to be hurt any more so I rather do that.
I remember when I would get so deprest that I would forget to eat one time and I know that is not good for me or the baby.
I do not want to be mad at my dad for raising a baby that I had and he did not get to rase me so that was gone be hard to deal with.
I am also glad that I have that option cause it wasn't for that I would not know what to do in my life.
am glad that I will not have my feelings hurt any more by my dad or by any thing else.
You are very brave and your child will be blessed with a loving family, I'm sure. My step brother and his wife are trying to adopt so know that there are so many families out there looking for a baby to love. I can only imagine what a difficult decision this has been for you.
I know you don't even know me but I just felt compelled to tell you how brave and unselfish I think birth mothers are.
As for how to start the process, it will depend on where you live. I would imagine that you could contact the socialworker at the hospital where you're going to give birth. He or she should be able to point you in the right direction.
Another option would be to do a google search for maternity homes or adoption services in your area.
Catholic Charities would probably be an excelent place to start as they help with many adoptions from what I understand.
Good luck to you.
no offence, but, if you don't want to have the child, why bother to pragnant with one anyway? should be more careful, and take safety percortion when having sex. it is unfair to have a baby, then decided that you are not good enough for him/her, and give him/her out for adoption.
well said to the last poster.
I agree with post 3. You are very brave; i'm sure it was not an easy decision. But if you feel it is best for you and your baby, then you are doing the right thing.
Good luck to you. :)
The other reason why I am also doing this so I can get my tools tied.
I do not want to take medication or even get the shot.
I also do not want to get the iu d.
It is my choice and if you do not like it than I do not know what to say.
thanks for all of the posters that support me in what I am doing.
Yes it is a hard disagion and hard it is every day that passes by.
it is not easy for me and if any one wants to talk to me and just be a friend just let me know.
You can email me at babybuffalovanessuevega@gmail.com
thanks
Damn it! I had a long, well-written scathing post drafted for post 4 but got a phone call so my log-in timed out. I usually don't even get into online dramatic arguments with people I don't even know because I think they're pointless and stupid but post 4 just flat out pissed me off.
Anyway, here's what I said in a nutshell.
Post 4: that was just mean. Seriously? You started your post with "no offense" when that is quite obvious what you meant. What? ?Did you really expect an answer or was that just meant to be hurtful?
There are times when you read a message and see that someone is obviously in a very difficult situation. If you can't offer something compassionate to say, then shut the hell up.
You have no idea what the circumstances in this young lady's life are. What if she had been raped and thus didn't have the chance to take precausions? Wouldn't you feel like an ass then? For her sake, I hope that wasn't the case but even if she had just been being careless, it's a little bit late now to chastize her for it. I'm pretty sure she's already figured that out.
Even still, surely everyone knows that birth controll isn't 100 percent affective all the time.
So, what happens when birth controll fails? A woman finds herself facing the most difficult decision of her life, one which will be with her forever. The absolute last thing she needs is judgement, stupidity, and insensativity from people who have nothing better to do than sit on their high horse and spout off at the keyboard.
Other than abstanence, everyone takes a risk of becoming pregnant when having sex. It's nieve to think otherwise so you would do well to remember that yourself. In my experience, it is those who are most pompass that find themselves in situations where they are in the shoes of those they have judged.
since I didn't have time to write more earlier, I'll add to my thoughts. whatever the original poster's decision is, I hope it's well thought out. oftentimes parents think giving up their child is the best decision, and later come to regret it. so, I hope you're well informed and that your child gets placed with a loving family if adoption is indeed the course you choose to take.
Thanks, Domestic Goddess. You ahve put into words my thoughts better than I could.
it is not about being hurtful or things, is about have a better plan. if you seriously don't want a baby for whatever reason, you shouldn't go down the track to have one, then, for whatever reason, decided that you don't want to have her/him, and give him away.
Yes, the baby may end up in a better situation than what you can provide, but at the same time, it could have a totally negative impact on the baby when they grow up too. What if the adopted parents or family are not loving, or abusive to your child? Can you seriously say you don't care cause you have gave it away?
What if the baby later in the track wanting to know what their biology parents are, can you seriously see the kid in the eyes, and tell her/him, "hey, look, i give you out for the goodness of life, so be it"?
from your other topic, you mention you have a daughter, and now obviously have another one on the way, why not took consideration before you going down the track to have one, and decided that you, or your family are not good enough for it. And, where does the biological father stand in this? or, he doesn't know that he's having a child either.
Is time to take respondsibility as an adult. five minutes of fun could end up a hundret years of regret.
All I will say here is that if you are in America, there are a lot of private adoption agencies you can talk to, where perspective parents can be interviewed and screened by you, and where your prenatal and postnatal care gets paid for.
This is done as an investment by the agency and the parents for the child's best interest, and obviously is yours, so you should take no shame in using it, or think of it as charity.
You don't have to feel out of control by using the state system if you don't want to. Private agencies are often looking for women carrying a fetus to term just like yourself who are needing to adopt out and also interested in knowing the child is going to good hands.
I'd suggest you take control and look around, as with a little research and preparation and shopping you can be on top, rather than being the victim.
I can't tell you for your state or location, all I know is we considered this from the opposite end, as adopters, at one point. While the wife was dealing with the emotional aspects of things and talking to friends I went out and started doing what I usually do, sniff around and do the homework to see how much it would cost, how to get the job done, etc.
Parents who go to those types of places ultimately pay a lot of money, which will tell you the child you're carrying will go into a financially stable situation.
You don't have to be out of control or subject to public institutions like the woman who brought me to term was. It's 2012, not 1970, and there are a lot of private firms that would be happy to work with you and help you do your level best through your pregnancy and pick your prospective adoptive parent. The point is, now you can choose, now you can be in control. Being in control always makes tough situations easier.
So, go after it, I say.
Domestic goddess, thank you, thank you, thank you! I couldn't have said it better in post 8 myself. Some of the things people say on this site in my opinion are absolutely despicable and insensitive. There is not a single human being on this earth that is qualified to criticize or judge another, because not a single one of us is perfect!
Here's a little challenge for you, the next time you're going through something really difficult or emotionally painful, ask yourself this: "How would I feel if someone judged me or made nasty, rude comments about me or the situation I'm in?"
Then maybe you would feel more inclined to treat others as you would like to be treated.
Little foot: we've never spoken before, but if you ever want someone to talk to who will be supportive and won't criticize or judge you in anyway, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Again, I wish you the best of luck. :)
The only way your comments would apply here, Buttercup, is if you knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that the original poster was just wrecklessly sleeping around. Since you don't, you have no way of knowing how she got pregnant, and therefore, no room to make those comments. It was incredibly brave of her to admit that she cannot, for one reason or another, raise this child. she's not biting off more than she can chew, which is very responsible, if you ask me. and you know what? Even if she did make a mistake, and I'm not saying she did, she is at least taking steps to resolve the situation instead of whining and bitching about it like some people do.
I hope you get this situation resolved. I think if you feel you cannot care for the child you're pregnant with that adoption is a good decision. You are giving the child a chance at life with a family who can provide for him or her, rather than terminating it. I respect people who are willing to try and give the child a chance at life. It must be hard, I can't imagine. There is open adoption should you ever want to know how your child is doing, and wonder how things turned out. I also hope you find a family that you feel will be best suited for your child's needs as you have the ability to choose. I wish you the best of luck and I hope things work out.
joanne but should the op be forced to keep a baby she doesn't want? or worse, may not be able to care for?
Or would it have been preferable that she have a termination?
Either way she is damned if she does, damned if she doesn't.
It's never as simple as saying that if you didn't want a baby then don't get pregnant. Contraceptives fail, women find themselves in difficult positions, and often unwanted and unplanned pregnancies are the result. And not everyone feels they can go through a termination - that in itself carries its own emotional consequences.
Now, I don't believe that termination or adoption should be considered as a form of contraception, but there is a difference between someone who has multiple terminations/gives up multiple babies for adoption, and someone who finds themselves pregnant after a contraceptives failure, feels unable to go through termination and feels that adoption is the best answer for their unborn child as they themselves do not feel able to bring another baby up.
As the op already has a daughter she will know what parenthood is all about, and therefore the decision to give up her subsequent baby is not something she is likely to have entered into lightly.
I agree with the last posters.
I am there for married there for it is by the same babies dad as my first child.
I would not like it if my children were from different daddies so that is good that I have it that way and not any another way.
I am glad that If any one wants to email me you can at babybuffalovanessuevega or check out my you tube vedoes at babybuffalo1988 thanks and keep on posting.
the only form of birth control that is 100% effective is abstinance. you self righteous patronizers give me a pain in the nether regions. little foot appears to be making the best of a potentially bad situation. my soon to be 22 year old daughter was conceived with the iud. it is the one the advertise on tv all the time. it is supposed to be 99.5% effective. if the woman does co me up in the family way she's supposed to die or become infertile. no one told either of us that. my daughter is a great person who i am glad is in this world and i'm fine thank you very much. none of us have any business judging others because we aren't in their hearts or heads.
my thoughts exactly. :)
There are a lot of private adoption agencies as people stated above. The hate on this site blows me away at times. Here is a hug for you and at least you are thinking of saving your baby. Don't give up and remember it is your choice and you can control every step of the way.
Hi again this is little foot.
I already had the baby.
it was a boy
it was 6 pounds 1 ounce
it was born on monday at 8-00 AM
yes i did find a good agentcy that is cristian.
the parents are nice and both have jobs.
they are you every grocery person and sails person.
so the baby is in good hands.
we met them and already filed out the legel paper work that is invalved.
if any one has any questions please ask by email me at babybuffalovanessuevega@gmail.com or skype at vega.gabe.
thanks and there is your guys update.
I'm glad you posted this update. I've thought of you over the past couple of months and wondered how things were going.
I'm glad the baby was healthy and that you've found a good home for him. You've undoubtedly made a new family very happy.
I'm sure there's some grief on your part and I pray that God heals any sadness you might have.
Well congrets Little foot, at least you get the problem sorted, and knowing that he goes to a good home.
Well, what i was saying was about, doing all you can to prevent havaing a baby if you don't want it. Contreception may fail, but its better to be at least 90% sure than to be regrets down the track.
Littlefoot, I admire your strength...
I agree. Post 4 was utterly insensitive regardless of wat your stated intentions were. Contraceptives definitely fail, sometimes even when you use several together I.E. condoms and pills. I myyself am an example of such an instace. My mom was using an IUD at the time I was conceived and in fact that's wat led to my prematurity. So you have absolutely no cause to criticize others for things that might not necessarily have been entirely within their control. And big hugs to you Little Foot.
Those who care about the hole sitution and wilkie to be a friend can babybuffalovanessuevega@gmail.com me if they want to add me on Skype you can to at vega.gabe
That is if you want to be a friend
Was it an open adoption? Will you be able to receive updates on how he's doing? take care.
Little Foot, change your Gmail. You should never post your gmail address or your Skype username on a Google-searchable board, ever. Block me, ignore me, het the hate on if you want, for me being a bit paternalistic, but it's the truth. This site is not modern, and has no privacy settings to speak of. It is fully indexable by Google, and any of us who post to boards, myself included, never should post our account info.
thanks, Leo, for saying what I was just coming back to post myself.
Thanks for telling me
Um ... it might be too late since it's already up here, but that's good to know for any future posters.
Well, that's why Leo said to change it. I actually think it's a good idea to have two email addresses: one for things like this; an email address that you don't mind giving out to strangers and unknown websites, and one that you only give out to people you trust. For the public one, make sure not to put any personal info out there, including your real name. Hope this helps.
and for those who don't know: Your profile settings cannot be viewable by the public. Or, if there is a setting for that, make it always private.
"DO IT NOW, KIDS! MOVE IT UP! MOVE IT UP!"
iif you do not like what I right on my board and do not care about how i feel.
then get off my board and never come.
I do not have to deal with any critizom here theere for I will block you if you talk any trash to me and tell me what to do or what to not do.
I do actually have a life.
unlike a lot of you who are on here twenty for seven are just do not have a life.
I have a family and I do not have to deal with any of this.
some people do not take inconsideration about the thrueth about the hole sitution and how hard it was to make the disation of adoption of a baby.
it was hard and it will always be hard for me.
I do not show my feelings to a lot of people of the hole adoption but I do feel that is and wwill always be a disagion that was right for me and my family.
For the hole adoption process my family doesn't want to talk to me cause they are angry and they feel like I made a bad choice.
they do not agree with my disagion but they have toto deal with it no matter if tey like it or not.
that is part of life.
I did not plan on being pregnate after 2 years but things happen.
for those that you care I am gona get the i u d soon.
I am gona get the five year one.
can any weman tell me about the iu d in a email iif you know about that.
I will talk to you all later and keep you posted on my life and the baby.
oh ya they named him asher what means happy
If you don't want to take the advice not to put your personal Email on a public board, then don't. But we were just trying to help. Not sure if you were referring to that, or to the posts about the adoption, but the last critical one was quite a ways back, so if you were, you could have at least clarified that. Why the outburst now, after all this time, and all these posts? Bit of a delayed reaction, don't you think?
Amen little foot! Totally agree that some on here just need to grow up, get a life, and stop picking on and criticizing people they don't even know!
And, as for the adoption, if you felt it was best for you and your baby, then you did the right thing. No one knows your situation but you, so just ignore those who won't give you the respect you deserve. They're not worth your time. Hopefully your family will someday understand, but if not it's their problem not yours.
And, I'm glad the adoption went well and that the baby is happy. Sounds like he was blessed with a wonderful family.
*big hugs*
My son for all of you that care is doing good now.
I found a good agentcy for the adoption.
I also found a loving home for him to.
His name is Asher and he is a pritty cute little boy.
It is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
That's really great. I'm very happy for you both.
That is really great, and that took a lot of guts. I know the social services people don't seem to talk much about guts or balls to the wall, but to my mind, that is precisely what you exhibited. Good on you for seeking out a viable and loving situation for him. That's a tall order, but you made it happen. Great job.
I will see my son nict month I am so happy and i can't wate until that time.
i have a hand and foot print hanging on my wall and also some pictures to i am glad that I get some contact with my son it makes me happy.
i love to see how much he grows.
I get a phone call from his mom every month I get a phone call from his mom.
I have a couple of vedios of him to.
He has a cute laught to.